Innate Resilience

There are many workshops and articles that ‘teach’ you how to build resilience and many work at a ‘surface’ level by applying tools and techniques. BUT what if you discovered that you didn’t need to apply anything, that you are already resilient? What if you were born with an innate capacity for resilience and mental health?

Our bodies are able to self-heal when we have a cut, or other physical conditions, we vomit if we are ill to rid our bodies of impurities and toxins or we get a fever to heat up our body to kill a virus.

We all have an innate resilience. We have evolved from thousands of generations who have adapted to living on this planet. Your ancestors survived famine, drought, war and according to Darwin only the strongest survived which means you have evolved from a strong gene pool.

We were born perfect and can self-regulate like a snow globe or a muddy puddle that will eventually clear. You know how one day something can really bother you but the next day after a good night’s sleep you have more clarity and it feels less of a concern? Well that is our in-built mental self-regulation. You see it in young children – one moment they can be really upset and the next they can be laughing.

Once we understand that our feelings can only come from THOUGHT, not from events outside of us, we can allow our mind to settle like the snow globe. We will have a feeling of peace as our mind resets to its natural default position. You can say to yourself, ‘It is just thought.’

If you would like to have a deeper understanding and coach others to reach a state of wellbeing and resilience, you can enrol on our 3 Day 3 Principles Coaching Programme.


Steve Kay

Emotional intelligence and the new paradigm

Let me be controversial: No one can upset you or make you angry, despite what is taught on some leadership trainings. Emotions are not triggered. Your feelings do not come from other people or external events… Continue reading “Emotional intelligence and the new paradigm”

Wellbeing at work – how can hypnosis help?

So, what is hypnosis and how can it help with wellbeing at work?

Essentially, trance is a naturally occurring deeply relaxed state that we all experience which can help alleviate stress and enhance wellbeing in the workplace.

Have you ever been in your car and missed a junction on the motorway? Chances are, you missed that junction because you were in a trance! If you have children you might have noticed that when they are engrossed in something, be it watching TV or playing a game, they block everything else out and when you speak to them they don’t hear you. Again, this is because they are in trance. Being in trance is totally natural and we go in and out of trance many times each day without being aware of it.

One of the things that is often misunderstood about hypnosis is that the hypnotherapist creates the trance and the client is not in control. It’s completely the opposite. As a client of hypnosis it is you that creates the trance state and you can come out of this state at any point should you wish to – as the client you are in complete control. Hypnotherapists cannot “compel” you to do anything you don’t want to do and they will work with you to get the best result for achieving your aims. In fact, many people who expect to feel “hypnotised” are surprised to find they simply feel deeply relaxed.

The trance state does, however, enable people to effectively respond to suggestions. Therefore, the therapy helps clients to change certain behaviours and bad habits and can be used to treat anxiety, substance abuse, such as smoking, and can be used to help aid sleep. It’s also very useful for helping clients feel energised and confident in a variety of situations both in their personal and professional lives. For clients who have physical pain, hypnosis can be a useful tool in helping with pain management. Studies reveal that hypnosis is effective in alleviating chronic and acute pain. The therapy was first used to reduce pain in cancer patients, but it’s now used for several other conditions such as arthritis, surgery anxiety and burns. It can also enable people to gain control of their eating habits, instead of allowing food cravings to control their lives, and is very useful in helping people lose weight and become healthier and fitter.

Hypnosis can also be used as a fantastic tool for well being at work. Being able to access a deeply relaxed state, free from anxiety and all of the stresses of the modern workplace can have huge benefits for employees. Using hypnosis during wellbeing group workshops or in one to one sessions can leave employees feeling less stressed, more energised and focussed which in turn reduces sickness absence, increases productivity and results in a happier workforce. We often run relaxation sessions using light trance as a lunch time session in organisations which are hugely popular and we can also include hypnosis as part of our executive coaching programmes.

If you would like to chat about how hypnosis can help, either your organisation or you personally, get in touch and we’ll be happy to tell you more.

Kali Fraser

What is an NLP Practitioner?

An NLP Practitioner is a highly resourceful and professional coach who uses the NLP technique to help others. The technique entails using the brain deliberately (in terms of procedures and interventions) to achieve the desired results. If you would like to train to become such a practitioner or you want to use their services, you’ll need to learn more about the scope of this profession.

How to qualify as an NLP Practitioner

The certification is internationally recognised hence allows individuals to practice as professionals anywhere in the world. These practitioners are popular because they are capable of assisting people in many areas of life. The field is similar to coaching and is self-regulated through a variety of recognised organisations, including INLPTA, ABNLP, NLPEA and ANLP.

These regulatory bodies provide ethics, standards and memberships for NLP professionals accredited through recognised training courses. Qualifications and certifications are only done by qualified NLP trainers who are granted the mandate by the professional bodies.

The practitioner qualification comprises of extensive study and completing the training course. The course typically lasts for 120 to 130 hours, and the trainer will assess the individuals to establish proficiency. Trainers often combine ongoing evaluation and a final test to ensure the individuals attain the required skill level.

The profile of an NLP Practitioner

Honestly, there is no specific profile. Practitioners come from different backgrounds from every part of the world; the uniqueness of NLP is that it comprises of a skill set that can be learned by anyone. It’s a series of processes and techniques used to produce excellence.

The main characteristic required in the professional is a positive attitude – a desire to learn and make the world better. If you’re observant, you’ll discover that all NLP Practitioners in the world display an attitude of curiosity.

After graduation, many practitioners open their businesses, whether as full-time or part-time therapists or coaches. Others use their new skills to enhance their existing workplaces in various industries, including business, sales, management, sports and education.

How NLP Practitioners can help you

NLP provides a new skill set that helps people to develop excellence in all areas of life. The therapy technique enhances physical, behavioural, communication and thought skills. This is very important for a well-balanced life; for example, you may be a top-level professional in the government, business or sports but you’re still struggling with addictions or are unable to face reality.

NLP practitioners are trained to deal with people at both ends of the spectrum. In most cases, the practitioners assist people from an area of life or business industry they are familiar with. For example, if you’re a healthcare professional, you’ll be an excellent practitioner when you work with people who have various health conditions, including anxiety, mild depression, stress, smoking cessation and phobia.

On a final note, NLP Practitioners are quite effective in helping people to enhance different areas of their lives. As a practitioner, you’ll be glad to know that the professional is rewarding, especially when the people you coach excel. The therapy entails maximising the brain’s potential while embracing modern neuroscience discoveries to achieve the desired objectives.

Interested in becoming an NLP Certified Practitioner? Book on today!

Coaching – Should I make suggestions?

When leaders or new coaches attend a Leadership or NLP Coaching programme, they frequently have an urge to suggest a solution to their coachee or team member.

The group I’m currently with in Manchester fed back on their first session that they wanted to help their coachee and could see what the coachee should do.

Now, firstly, whilst this may sometimes work, we all have a natural ‘push back’ reflex and may respond with, ‘Well, that wouldn’t work’ or, ‘I’ve tried that’. You can’t push string, but they can pull it!

Secondly, when making suggestions or offering solutions, they come from the coach’s model of the world not the coachees. In his best-selling book, Effective Coaching, Myles Downey says that when the coachee takes responsibility and works out a direction for themselves “that is where the magic occurs.”

And you can meet the Coach’s Coach in person at the NLP and Coaching Convention on March 27th next year.

Back to coaching then. Very often your coachee or team member will present you with a situation you have experienced yourself and the temptation is to empathise with them and tell them about your own experience. I have seen this happen many times along with the coachee’s reaction. Often, they feel that the focus has moved away from them and onto the coach or, at best, somewhere in between. What I recommend is acknowledging in your own thoughts that this is occurring and to just have your whole attention on your coachee.

Often the Coach’s head is so full of stuff or the next question they want to ask that they are not listening. It is important that your mind is totally clear. Your coachee needs space for reflection. A couple of years ago, I introduced the concept of Ma into coaching. Ma is the Japanese word for space or gap. It can occur in between branches of a tree or the pause at the end of a bow, which demonstrates respect. As far as ancient teaching is concerned, Ma is more than just a space or gap. For example, the walls, windows, ceilings and doors don’t make a house, it is the space within them that creates the house. Likewise, it is not the round curvature of glass but the space that it surrounds within that creates the wine glass.

The concept of Ma can apply to aspects of leadership and coaching too. When the Coach’s mind is ‘clear’ from other thoughts, this is when the ‘deep’ listening happens.

Remember your coachee has all the resources inside them, your job is to flick the light switch and let their electricity flow.

How can NLP Training help?

We don’t always think about how to organise our thinking. For many of us, we have a cluster of thoughts that we can struggle to make sense of. Think of it as a chest of drawers with all the contents spilled out onto the floor. That is the thought-process many people must endure.

But what if there was a way to alleviate those issues? What if we had some method to organise those drawers and go about our thought-process in a more organised manner? This is where NLP training comes into the picture.

What is NLP Training?

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programmingand is the study of how people organise their minds in terms of their thoughts, emotions and behaviour in order to produce the real-world outputs they do. Neuro refers to our own unique mental filtering system taking in all the sensations around us like our likes, sounds and people. This creates a mental map called First Access, made up of internal images, sounds and sensations.

This information is then assigned to our own personal understanding, which is called the Linguistic Map. Finally, our response based on the internal organising is delivered, this being the Programming part of the process. There are various benefits to making use of this organised mindset and we aim to run through a few of them to show you why NLP Training is the utmost necessity.

Public Speaking

We all share that phobia of standing before an audience and trying to make ourselves sound calm and collected, conscious of missing out words, stumbling over our speech and being silently judged by the crowd. NLP training can help you forget the fear by prompting a physiological change, thinking of what body patterns are unhelpful and disposing of them accordingly. It can also anchor a person to a state of mind where they were at their most calm and productive. Everyone will need to speak before an audience at some point in our lives. Make sure you’ve had NLP training when you do, or risk stumbling at a crucial moment.

Employee Performance

Some employees can be gripped with a fear of failing should they leave their comfort zone, which can hinder their professional growth. NLP training can make use of language coaching that will get to the root of what limits employees in their performance, and perhaps even uncover issues that the employee wasn’t aware of in the first place.

Change Unhealthy Habits

You may have addictive traits that you want to do away with such as smoking, drinking or biting nails, but are too locked into that addictive loop to break out of it. You may have a personality tick that is doing your personal relationships harm. NLP training can readjust those mindsets and help you take a kinder, albeit more assertive approach to your personal health. It will do away with the day-to-day anxiety plaguing your mind and holding you back, allowing you to excel.

NLP Training is a revolutionary tool that has helped plenty of people, from public speakers who have difficulties making their voices known, to employees held back from greatness, to people suffering from crippling issues such as low body image or depression.

The applications are endless. It is the medicine that can make a difference for anyone who needs to recognise their own value and see their self-worth.


Inside out thinking

How would it feel if you had less stress in your life? How would you like to feel calmer and more relaxed?

Today I’m going to share one of Sydney Banks’ 3 Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought. The Principle of Thought is the basis for ‘Inside Out Thinking’ and you can apply it straight away.

I’d like you to start by making a list of all the people and things that make you happy. Next think about something else for a few seconds to change your state e.g. Donald Trump, Brexit or Manchester United losing on Sunday. There we go. Now read your ‘happy’ list, immerse yourself in each item and I bet you feel happy. You can repeat this with the things that give you ‘petty rage’ such as people not indicating when they change lane in front of you or colleagues leaving unwashed mugs on the sink. Once again immerse yourself in your list and you will find you that you feel irritated. Now go back to your ‘happy’ list… ah much better.

Do other people make you feel angry? Do you worry about future events? If so, this article is definitely for you. Maybe sometimes you have that much going on in your head that you feel overwhelmed. Well, dear reader, I’m going to tell you something that will enable you to change all that.

The Principle of Thought suggests that our feelings are generated from our thoughts NOT from external events or other people. I know it seems like that is how it works but consider this: When the sun rises in the morning, it looks like the sun is revolving round the earth. In fact, most humans believed this to be true until about 500 years ago, but we all know now that the earth revolves round the sun even if it looks the other way around. It is simply an illusion.

My son Josh used to have a teddy bear called Softy. Softy could speak and had his own unique voice. On long journeys to Devon he would often join in a game of Eye Spy. Once when it was Josh’s turn to spy something beginning with the letter R, Softy’s little voice said, ‘Is it road?’ We were giggling all the way to the coast.

A teddy or similar toy comforts young children to such an extent they get upset when they can’t find Teddy but do the feelings of comfort come from Teddy or from the child? Logically we know Teddy is made from fabric, but it does seem that the child is getting the feelings from Teddy. As we grow older, we have teddy bear substitutes – a new bike or a new smart phone – which make us feel good. From then on, we learn that ‘stuff’ equals feeling good.

So, what about the teddies we have as an adult? Do the good feelings come from your new car or designer handbag or from you thinking about them? Do you use a shopping trip to make you feel good?

From a very young age we develop our ‘script’ or model of reality which becomes our mental model of the world around us. Our brain is continually predicting what is going on around us, firing out best guesses at the information coming through our senses. The information is then interpreted based on the data already in our script which in turn leads to thought. The next time you drive your nice shiny BMW and feel good, remember it is all coming from your thought. I’m not saying don’t have a nice car. What I’m saying is that your feelings are coming from thought.

The same process applies to things and events which worry us or annoy us. My feelings recently when United lost one nil was not coming from the pitch or the players but my thoughts which originate because of my script. Once we become conscious of our thought by saying to ourselves, ‘It’s just a thought’, the feelings will dissipate, rather like the snow in a globe settling and the globe becoming clear.

When we realise our feelings are coming from our thoughts, we will have less stress and feel our inner calmness, our mind becomes clear resetting to its natural default position. All we need to do is take a walk, go for a jog or do anything relaxing.