We are driven by our values, they are the factors which motivate us, they dictate where we spend our time and we unconsciously seek to fulfil them. By helping team members fulfil their values we can facilitate them in becoming more motivated and fulfilled because the work they are doing will give them meaning and purpose. Continue reading “Career Values”
The doctor and therapist Owen O’Kane, who described himself growing up in Northern Ireland as ‘Billy Elliot without the dance moves’, suggested that 60%-70% of our thoughts can be negative and that back in Neanderthal times it was helpful to have fearful thoughts which we now know as ‘negativity bias,’ for our safety. It is important to recognise that our brain magnifies the negative information we filter in.
A survey Matthew Syed wrote about in the Sunday Times on 13th December 2020 asked the following question:
“Over the past 20 years, has the proportion of the World that lives
in extreme poverty,
a) Increased by 50%
b) Increased by 25%
c) Stayed the same
d) Decreased by 25%
e) Decreased by 50%”
*See answer below
Scientists have vanquished the naysayers who argued that it takes twenty years to test and approve a new vaccine by producing three in ten months! The next time you feel threatened or overwhelmed by ‘bad’ news remember your brain is amplifying it and you will see it in more perspective. The press loves a good negative metaphor, such as ‘crash out,’ and they use exaggerated terms to describe events. These all impact on our unconscious and effect our mood.
We all have an in-built resilience passed down from generations who have survived and evolved. We are much more resourceful than we think. The problem is our over active scanner is on full power mode constantly trying to detect threats.
Optimistic people are likely to achieve better results because we get more of what we focus on. Come and join us on a free Introduction to NLP evening to find out how. The next one is on January 14th.
*Only one person in a hundred answered the survey correctly, the other 99% were too pessimistic. (The correct answer is decreased by 50%)
It really fascinates me how some people are so unaware of the impact they have on the people around them. I’m very lucky in that I spend most of my working life working with extraordinarily positive and happy people as a Leadership and NLP Trainer. Both my colleagues at qualityculture and the vast majority of our course delegates have an uplifting impact in their interactions with others and that’s a great environment to work in!
But…and there’s a big but, how aware are we of how our mood, attitude and language has on other people? Steve, Wendy and I (I hope!) are all very aware of this because of the training we’ve had and the job that we all do but when we ask delegates if they are aware of the impact they have on people this generally causes considerable self reflection. We are all aware of the impact others have on us, especially when that impact is negative but when was this last time you really thought about the impact that YOU have?
- A smile on your face and a positive attitude means that everyone you come into direct contact with experiences an emotional uplift of 15%
- Then those 15% happier people pass on their happiness to everyone they meet raising their mood by 10%
- And those 10% pass on their mood to everyone raising their mood by 6%
So this week, my challenge to you is to be aware of your impact and see how many people you can have a more positive effect on, both in work and in your personal life. Mood hoovers need not apply!!
If you want to get more tips on how to have a more positive impact on your teams and others around you, we are running two 1 day workshops next month, on Microsoft Teams, which will be of interest to you: “Inside Out Thinking – Get A Stress Free Life“; and “How to be a Better Coach”, further details below.
Have a great week all
Today is the best day of the year to set professional and personal goals. Continue reading “Taking action”
A friend of mine shared the following story with me and it really hit a chord! I think it’s a story we could all take lessons from, so here we go…
A very elegant and petite lady in her 90’s always made sure she was up and dressed before 8.00 a.m. each morning. She took care to ensure that her hair was taken up neatly and carefully applied her make-up, even though she was partially blind. Her husband, whom she had been married to for 70 years had recently died, making it necessary for her to move into a nursing home.
On arrival at the home she had to wait several hours in the lobby before being told that her room was ready, and she smiled sweetly at this news. A member of nursing staff helped her into the lift with her walking frame and started to describe the tiny and cramped room that was to be her ‘new home’. She listened carefully before declaring “I love it” with the enthusiasm a child would display when opening a much longed for present. The member of staff replied:
“You haven’t seen the room yet…just wait.”
The elderly lady responded:
“That really doesn’t have anything to do with it. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind and I have already decided that I love it. It’s a decision I make each morning when I wake up. I have a choice…I could spend all day in bed feeling sorry about the parts of my body that no longer work, or I can get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift and as long as my eyes still open I’ll focus on the new day and all the wonderful, happy memories I have stored away, just for this time in life.
Life is like a bank account…you withdraw what you put in. So, my advice would be to deposit as much happiness in your bank account of memories – I am still depositing”.
Here are some simple rules to be happy:
- Free your mind from worries
- You always have a choice
- Be kind to those you meet on life’s journey
- Enjoy the here and now
- Take action
- Follow your dreams
For anybody that feels they have reached a ‘fork in the road’ and wants to take action to make a positive difference in their lives, please come along to our NLP and Coaching convention on the 27th of March next year.
When leaders or new coaches attend a Leadership or NLP Coaching programme, they frequently have an urge to suggest a solution to their coachee or team member.
The group I’m currently with in Manchester fed back on their first session that they wanted to help their coachee and could see what the coachee should do.
Now, firstly, whilst this may sometimes work, we all have a natural ‘push back’ reflex and may respond with, ‘Well, that wouldn’t work’ or, ‘I’ve tried that’. You can’t push string, but they can pull it!
Secondly, when making suggestions or offering solutions, they come from the coach’s model of the world not the coachees. In his best-selling book, Effective Coaching, Myles Downey says that when the coachee takes responsibility and works out a direction for themselves “that is where the magic occurs.”
And you can meet the Coach’s Coach in person at the NLP and Coaching Convention on March 27th next year.
Back to coaching then. Very often your coachee or team member will present you with a situation you have experienced yourself and the temptation is to empathise with them and tell them about your own experience. I have seen this happen many times along with the coachee’s reaction. Often, they feel that the focus has moved away from them and onto the coach or, at best, somewhere in between. What I recommend is acknowledging in your own thoughts that this is occurring and to just have your whole attention on your coachee.
Often the Coach’s head is so full of stuff or the next question they want to ask that they are not listening. It is important that your mind is totally clear. Your coachee needs space for reflection. A couple of years ago, I introduced the concept of Ma into coaching. Ma is the Japanese word for space or gap. It can occur in between branches of a tree or the pause at the end of a bow, which demonstrates respect. As far as ancient teaching is concerned, Ma is more than just a space or gap. For example, the walls, windows, ceilings and doors don’t make a house, it is the space within them that creates the house. Likewise, it is not the round curvature of glass but the space that it surrounds within that creates the wine glass.
The concept of Ma can apply to aspects of leadership and coaching too. When the Coach’s mind is ‘clear’ from other thoughts, this is when the ‘deep’ listening happens.
Remember your coachee has all the resources inside them, your job is to flick the light switch and let their electricity flow.
We would like to invite you to the Positive Leadership Club because we think you’re a positive leader!
Join us for our first networking and training session on Friday 29th November at Antenna in Nottingham 1:30pm – 4:30pm. Be part of creating a movement of positive leadership in the UK and have a supportive network of great leaders, learn new skills, develop professionally and network with your peers.
Quality Culture will be hosting regular events and this first one is completely free for you to attend. Please let us know which topics would be useful for you and we’ll do our best to include them. We will have a range of guest speakers each quarter, practical take aways and ample time to network and share with your peers.
Our November event’s current schedule looks like this:
1.40pm What is Positive Leadership, why is it important and how do we achieve it?
2.30pm Action Learning Sets to discuss topical issues.
3.00pm Tea & Coffee.
3.15pm Feedback from Action Learning Sets.
3.30pm Horiba case study with Tracey Ward Head of HR.
3.45pm Strengths Based Leadership and Employee Engagement.
Antenna, Room S11, Beck Street, Nottingham, NG1 1EQ
Parking: There is a range of parking close by to the venue with the closest being the NCP car park on Huntington Street
Places are limited so please confirm your attendance by email to email@example.com to secure your place.
Tickets for 31st January NLP Coaching Convention
April 5th 2019, Albert Hall Conference Centre, Nottingham
Early Bird ticket sales will come to a close, this Thursday 31st January! Don’t miss out! Alternatively, corporate tables of 10 will still be available at the super early bird booking price of £45 plus VAT per person.
Speak with your head of HR or L&D or get your boss to book a table and come along for a great day of CPD, which will include hearing our guest speaker Julie Starr who is renowned in the world of coaching; some brand-new material from Steve Kay on Neuroscience and Emotional Intelligence; workshops on a variety of interesting topics; and the opportunity to get coached by a Master Practitioner of NLP.
Early Bird Single and VIP tickets are also still available and can be booked through Eventbrite or email Lorna on firstname.lastname@example.org so she can raise an invoice for your group booking. We are looking forward to seeing you there!
ILM Level 5 Award in Leadership and Management
5 days – £950 plus VAT per person
* Give them a set of behaviours to increase employee engagement
* Research and Implement a business improvement project which will give your organisation a return on investment of ten times the cost of their place on this programme.